Writing

Nonfiction

“Man, Does The Capital Region Love Its Tribute Bands or What?” a profile and appreciation of tribute bands, Saratoga Living, September/October 2019.

“’My chaotic background shows in my language’: A conversation with Tomaž Šalamun.” An interview I had in 1997 with the late Slovenian poet. The Critical Flame: A Journal of Literature and Culture, September 2019.

“Chelsea Clinic, October 3, 1995,” a flash memoir piece about getting my first HIV test results on the day the O.J. Simpson trial verdict was announced,” Mr. Bellers’ Neighborhood, June 2019.

Annotation note included in “Every Atom: Reflections on Whitman at 200,” North American Review, University of Northern Iowa, 2019.

“Cousin Mike: A Memoir,” nonfiction, re-published with editor’s essay, on Indiana Review, 2019.

Contributor to three chapters in Queen: Album by Album, Martin Popoff, ed, Voyageur Press, November 27, 2018.

“No Escape from Reality,” essay on Bohemian Rhapsody, the Freddie Mercury/Queen biopic, Barrelhouse, November 3, 2018.

“Late August,” “Two 90s Poetry Readings,” The Collagist, October 2018.

“How Watching ‘Caddyshack’ Helps Me Stave Off Depression: The ritual of watching (and quoting) my favorite comedy,” Electric Literature, April 16, 2018.

“The Greed for Pure Poetry,” on Diane Wakoski, Greed, and terrifying poets, The American Poetry Review, Vol. 46, No. 6, November/December 2017.

Flash Gordon: A Night at the Space Opera,” essay on Queen’s Flash Gordon soundtrack, Rattapallax, July 2017.

“Group Therapy: Was It Really a Game?” on the popular board game and its creators, The Millions, July 15, 2016.

“Notes on Purple Rain,” an excerpt from ShaderOhio Edit, April 29, 2016.

“The Leap-Day Baby’s Paradox,” The Atlantic, February 29, 2016.

“Second Thoughts on The Good Bad Boy,” Critical Mass, website of the National Book Critics Circle, January 23, 2016.

Excerpts from Shader and a self-interview, The Nervous Breakdown, November 2015.

Two chapters from ShaderThe Brooklyn Rail, November 2015.

“In Search of ‘Desiderata’: The tangled story of a most famous poem,” Poetry Foundation, October 2015.

“Straddling the Working Class Memoir,” in Assay: A Journal of Nonfiction Studies, Fall 2015 issue.

“In Defense of Vaguebooking,” BuzzFeed, June 3, 2015. Only my real friends will understand what I mean in this essay.

“Behind the Sound,” on W. Bliem Kern’s Meditations, Poetry Foundation, April 2015. Here are some photos and bonus materials.

“The Long Good Friday,” memoir on my playing Jesus at Good Friday mass, on Medium’s Human Parts, April 2015.

“Acknowledge history, good and bad,” op-ed on proposed memorial on the spot where Martin Luther King, Jr. was thrown out of bar in my hometown of Maple Shade, NJ, Courier-Post, January 27, 2015.

“Type hard or go home: in praise of the clicky keyboard,” Passages North’s “Writers on Writing” feature, January 20, 2015.

“Why professors love to complain,” Gawker, September 8, 2014.

“A flag stirs feelings of uncertainty,” Albany Times Union, June 13, 2014.

“A Country’s Width,” The Morning News, May 2014.

“The Sound of Philadelphia Fades Out,” The New York Times, March 2014.

“Moby Cock; Or, The Term Paper,” The Nervous Breakdown, June 2013.

Poetry

“The Failed Saratoga Colonic Fable,” Bennington Review, forthcoming, 2019.

“Hello, Dolly,” “On the Meeting of Frank O’Hara and David Lee Roth,” “[I can’t even say punk was important, even as it happened,],” “Debate Outside Four-Faced Liar, 2003,” “This Is Not a List Poem,” Court Green.

“Looks That Kill,” Hopkins Review,  Summer Issue 12.3, 2019.

“It’s Raining Spiders in Brazil”; “Eliot’s Religion and a New Way to Screw”; “Fable Written While Trying to Listen to Alternative Country Rock and Just Not Feeling It,” mutiny! magazine debut issue, 2019.

“The Last Days of Childhood” and “The Drummer in Our Band Tells Us He’s a Virgin,” two prose poems, Red Fez issue #124.

Rig Rundown,” “That Twat with Jazz Hands Won’t Stop Dancing,” “Sentences on The Poem and Other Sentences,” and “The Plan Shifted with a Ferocious Snap VI,”Word For/Word Issue #33, Summer 2019.

“The Art of Prose (With Digressions),” Unbroken, Issue 21, April 2019.

“The Street Giveth and the Street Taketh Away,” The Harpoon Review, Summer 2018.

“Road House Monologue,” FreezeRay Poetry, 2018.

“Eavesfall,” Right Hand Pointing, Issue 124: Shelter, 2018.

“The Plan Shifted with a The Plan Shifted with a Ferocious Snap,” What Rough Beast, December 19, 2017.

“Five States of the Resistance,” What Rough Beast, December 12, 2017.

“Manifesto with Cheap Sight Gag from One Crazy Summer,” What Rough Beast, December 5, 2017.

“To the Protest Song Industry in Crisis,” What Rough Beast, November 28, 2017.

“Gimli’s Lament,” Love’s Executive Order, September 29, 2017.

“Rescuing Bobby Brady from a Disaster Movie”; “Jack Lemmon Rewinds His Misanthropic Dialogue from a Disaster Movie”; and “Gleaning Dean Martin’s Chivalric Role in a Disaster Movie,” Barrelhouse online, April 3, 2017.

“Adagia Project” excerpts in The Equalizer, Issue #2, 2015.

“Thirteen Ways of Looking at Your Mama,” Voicemail Poems, September 9, 2013.

“Open Mic Announcements,” Kugelmass: A Journal of Literary Humor, May 2013.

“Adagia Project” excerpts in Hotel Amerika, Special Issue: Aphorisms, 2011.

“Adagia Project” excerpts, Esque Issue #2, 2011.

“Adagia 251-300,” “Traci Lords is on NPR!” Shampoo [San Francisco, CA], 2009.

Contents [show]

Not-so-Recent Writing and Clips

“Open Mic Annoucements,” Kugelmass: A Journal of Literary Humor, blog feature, May 2013.

“On Having Small Hands and Feet,” Kugelmass: A Journal of Literary Humor, Issue #2, 2012.

“An Apprentice’s Tale,” Coming Close: Poets Pay Tribute to Philip Levine as Teacher and Mentor. Edited by Mari L’Esperance and Tomas Q. Morin. Prairie Lights Books/University of Iowa Press, 2013.

“Be True to Your School,” on the right-leaning politics of the Beach Boys, New York Times, July 3, 2012.

“Maple Shade,” meditation on my hometown of Maple Shade, NJ, an adaptation from the new memoir, n+1 website as part of their City by City feature, May 2012.

“Still Moving,” interview with documentary producer-director Ron Mann on his 1982 film, Poetry in MotionPoetry Foundation, April 2012.

Interview with poet and nonfiction writer Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz, Stated, April 2012.

“On Having Small Hands and Feet,” Kugelmass: A Journal of Literary Humor, Issue #2, March 2012.

“I, Literary Tourist: Wiffle ball and scones at the poetry bed and breakfast,” Poetry Foundation, January 2012.

“Of Online Anger, Puppies, and Ice Cream,” piece about the ill-fated Times Union blog and the commenter-slash-tormentors who regularly visited there, for Creative Nonfiction‘s Anger issue, Winter/Spring issue, February 2012, #43.

“Love of My Life,” essay marking the twentieth anniversary of Freddie Mercury’s death, The Rumpus, November 2011.

“Late Night Thoughts on My Dead Thyroid,” Defunct: A Literary Repository for the Ages, Volume 2, Issue 2, November 2011.

“When You’re Strange,” essay that asks the question, “Should we consider Jim Morrison, rock’s Bozo Dionysus, a real poet?” Poetry Foundation, October 2011. Reprinted in Huffington Post as “When You’re Strange: Jim Morrison, Great American Poet?”

“The Writer is Present,” first piece to come out of The Memoir Office project, Painted Bride Quarterly, Issue #84, July 2011.

“Defenders of the Faith,” piece on Judas Priestess, the all-female tribute to Judas Priest, as well as on tributes in general, The Morning News, July 1, 2011.

“Here Today, Here Tomorrow: On the Lifespan of the Literary Magazine,” written with Steve Black, Bookslut, February 2011.

“My hypnotism diet,” Salon, January 3, 2011.

Review of Bryan Charles’ There’s a Road to Everywhere Except Where You Came FromBookforum, December 2010.

“The Chautauqua on West Woodlawn Avenue,” memoir about growing up with geniuses, The Superstition Review, Fall 2010.

Interview with poet Matthew Lippman, The Rumpus, December 2010.

“Heads of the Family,” essay on my family’s unusual tradition of weighing our heads on a commercial meat scale, The Morning News, November 2010.

“New Criticism Literary Theory Book Title or Self-Aggrandizing Male Genital Nickname?” List on McSweeney’s website, August 2010.

“The Rough Cut,” personal essay on living with my wife, who edits reality TV shows, The Morning News, July 2010.

“Josie Reconsidered: Notes on The Outfield’s ‘Your Love,’” Coldfront, 2009.

“I’ll Lead a Lush Life in Some Small Dive: A Christmas Eve Eve Story,” Philadelphia Weekly, as part of its Holiday Disaster Stories feature, 2009.

“Method Acting Memoir: Some Provocations,” Prelude, Medaille College, Fall 2009.

“Same as It Ever Was,” marking the tenth anniversary of The Rock Critical List, The Morning News, October 20, 2009.

“Bob and Tom’s Fish Fry: A Sentence Combining Worksheet,” McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, October 2009.

“Goodbye to All Them,” an essay on leaving New York, leaving poetry, and leaving New York poetry, The Morning News, September 23, 2009.

“How Sausage Is Made: My Skinny Jeans Odyssey,” immersion piece in which the author wears skinny jeans, The L Magazine, September 16, 2009.

“Excerpts from Cousin Mike: A Memoir,” collection of lists from memoir project, Indiana Review, Summer 2009.

“lliad Gag Reel,” Monkeybicycle online, Summer 2009.

“The Case for Upsizing,” overview of various “male enhancement” phenomena, with a focus on an experiment with ExtenZe pill, of late-night infomercial infamy, The Daily Beast, March 2009.

“Extracts from Cousin Mike: A Memoir,” Hotel Amerika, Fall 2009.

“My Great Fake Bake Experiment,” chronicles the author’s foray into indoor and artifical tanning methods, The Daily Beast, January 9, 2009.

“Nobody Loves My $20,000 Baby,” on IVF revelations in public situations, The Daily Beast, December 3, 2008.

“Essay Writing Experiments,” list of writing prompts and ideas for writing essays, Language is a Virus, November 2008.

“Takin’ Care of Jesus,” profile/essay on the Christian parody band ApologetiX, the author’s love of heretical Christian kitsch, and the parodeity movement, July 2, 2008 in The Morning News.

“The Puerto Rican Lockhorns Reunion,” memoir piece that takes place on Crosby Street, in Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood.

Selected Really Not-so-Recent Writing

“Rejection Slip? What Rejection Slip?” Dispatch from a reading by Lynn Lifshin, who might be one of the most prolific poets in the universe, PoetryFoundation website, September 2006.

“All Aboard the Enlightenment Express,” story on Robert Bly and Li-Young Lee’s reading at Kripalu Center, Poetry Foundation website, May 2006.

“Revising the Footlicker Story,” lyrical, number-listed, metanarrative essayistic rumination on a 10-year-old date story that involves the licking of feet, Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood, May 5, 2006.

“Critical Mass,” coverage of the 32nd National Book Critics Circle Awards ceremony for the Poetry Foundation website; with a poetry angle, of course, March 2006.

“A Boy & His Dog Poop,” memoir piece formerly entitled “Of dog poop, gentrification, The Informal New York Times North Williamsburg Delivery Strike of ’97, Isis, witchcraft supplies, absurd sexual advice, and preposition confusion,” Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood, December 2, 2005.

“A.I. Wanna Rock and Roll All Nite,” excerpt from transcript of a conversation between Gene Simmons, the bassist for the rock band KISS, and Terry Gross, host of NPR’s “Fresh Air,” originally broadcast on February 4th, 2002, with Mr. Simmons’s responses replaced by those of a.l.i.c.e., an artificial-intelligence chatbot, in Yankee Pot Roast, 2005.

“The Confessions of a Sestinas Editor,” personal essay on experience as Assistant Web Editor for Sestinas at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, in Poets & Writers, January/Feburary 2005.

“Lewis Turco on the Challenges of Writing Sestinas and Reading as a Form of Magic,” online-only Direct Quote column, Poets & Writers, December 2004.

“The Last Queen Fan in America,” essays on my experience as a fan of the British rock band Queen in the 1980s, in The Morning News, 2004.

Selected Collections

HIV Here & Now AID/HIV Awareness Anthology, Indolent Books [New York, NY], forthcoming. Includes “One Vision.”

Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Power of Forgiveness: 101 Stories about How to Let Go and Change Your Life.  Edited by Amy Newmark. Chicken Soup for the Soul, 2015. Includes “Flag Waving for Beginners,” 

Coming Close: Forty Essays on Philip Levine Edited by Mari L’Esperance and Tomás Q. Morín Prairie Lights Books, 2013. “An Apprentice’s Tale” appears in this collection. Buy: University of Iowa Press | Amazon

Joan Didion Crosses the Street Edited by Andrew Womack, with introduction by Paul Ford. The Morning News Editions, 2012. New York-themed collection. “Goodbye to All Them” appears in this Kindle anthology. Buy: Amazon

Sympathy for Deviled Eggs Edited by Andrew Womack, with introduction by Sarah Hepola. The Morning News Editions, 2011. Holiday-themed nonfiction, humor, and essays published at The Morning News. “Heads of the Family” appears in this Kindle anthology. Buy: Amazon

Queen: The Ultimate Illustrated History of the Crown Kings of Rock Edited and written by Phil Sutcliffe. Voyageur Press, 2009. Review articles on Queen’s The Miracle album as well as Queen + Paul Rodgers’ The Cosmos Rocks. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

Lost and Found: Stories from New York Edited by Thomas Beller. Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood/W.W. Norton, 2009. Two pieces, “The Difference Between Chicken and Goats” and “Revising the Footlicker Story,” appear in this anthology. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

Now Write! Nonfiction: Memoir, Journalism, and Creative Nonfiction Exercises from Today’s Best Writers and Teachers Edited by Sherry Ellis. Tarcher/Pengiun, 2010. An exercise called “Write Your Own White Album” is included. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

The World is a Text: Writing, Reading and Thinking About Visual and Popular Culture Edited by Jonathan Silverman and Dean Rader. Prentice-Hall, 2009. The third edition of this textbook has two pieces from God Save My Queen, “Another One Bites The Dust” and “We Are The Champions,” appear in this writing guide. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

The Best Creative Nonfiction, Vol. 1 Edited by Lee Gutkind. W.W. Norton, 2007. Includes essay “Notes on Frey.” Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

Third Rail: The Poetry of Rock and Roll Edited by Jonathan Wells, foreword by Bono. New York: MTV Books, 2007. Two pieces from God Save My Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “The Prophet’s Song,” are included in this anthology. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

PP/FF: An Anthology Edited by Peter Conners. Buffalo: Starcherone Books, 2006. Includes piece from God Save My Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

The Best American Poetry 2003 Edited by Yusef Komunyakaa, Series Editor David Lehman. Scribner, 2004. “Poem for the Novelist Whom I Forced to Write a Poem” was selected for this anthology. Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Powell’s

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