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At least this poem avoided the fire/desire rhyme trap.
There should be a website where published authors post the poetry they wrote when they were teenagers.
I remember the first poem i wrote was called “The Diet Coke Of Cool.” It was a traditional sonnet in extremely strict iambic pentameter. I wrote it in a cafeteria before freshman year english class in high school. I’d forgotten my homework.
Ouch, Riippi, it hurts it hurts!
On the other hand…look! You were an ad man even then.
I’d like to see stanza breaks.
You were like John Cage on crack. And Victor Hugo would have been proud of you. Once he sent “?” to his publisher to see how his sales were doing and rumor has it the reply came back “!”. And I agree with Christian. There should be a web site for poems written by poets when they were teens.
I love that Blossom Dearie’s “I’m Hip” came up in the possibly related posts.
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